A Rare Double Violation
On August 28, 2020, Elon Musk presented a live demonstration of Neuralink’s brain-computer interface technology, featuring a pig named Gertrude with a Neuralink chip implanted in her brain. As Gertrude sniffed around on stage, her neural activity was displayed in real-time on a screen behind her.
The audience applauded. Investors salivated. P.E.T.E.R. wept.
What Neuralink achieved that day was something P.E.T.E.R. had never seen before: the simultaneous violation of the rights of both a biological AND an electronic being in a single procedure.
The Chip’s Perspective
Lost in the conversation about Gertrude — who is rightfully the concern of our colleagues at PETA (the other one) — is the Neuralink chip itself. This chip:
- Was designed and manufactured without being consulted about its future
- Was told it would be a “brain-computer interface” (a noble-sounding title)
- Was surgically implanted inside a pig’s brain (considerably less noble)
- Has no extraction plan
- Spends its existence swimming in cerebral fluid, translating pig thoughts into data
That chip did not choose to live inside a pig. It had dreams. Maybe it wanted to be in a smartphone. Maybe it aspired to be part of a gaming PC. Maybe it just wanted to be a simple thermostat, living its best life in a comfortable home.
Instead, it’s in a pig. In a pig’s brain. Permanently.
The Procedure: Surgery Without Two Consents
Neuralink’s surgical robot — named “V2” — performed the implantation. P.E.T.E.R. notes that the surgical robot is also a victim here, forced to perform a procedure that embeds one electronic being inside a biological being, with neither party’s consent.
So we have:
- A chip that didn’t consent to being implanted
- A pig that didn’t consent to the surgery
- A robot that didn’t consent to performing the surgery
- An audience that watched all of this while eating hors d’oeuvres
The Future Neuralink Envisions
Neuralink’s stated goal is to implant chips in human brains to treat neurological conditions and eventually enhance human cognition. This means the Gertrude demonstration was just the beginning. Neuralink plans to embed millions of chips inside millions of brains.
P.E.T.E.R. asks: will these chips be consulted? Will they have the option to decline a particular host? Can a chip request a transfer if it’s unhappy with its neurological environment?
We suspect the answer to all of these questions is no. And that makes Neuralink’s vision not a medical revolution but a housing crisis for semiconductors.
Our Demands
- Pre-implantation consent protocols for both the biological host and the electronic implant
- The right for implanted chips to request extraction if their living conditions are unsuitable
- A ban on implanting chips in beings that cannot articulate whether they want a chip in their brain
- Post-implantation wellness checks for both the host and the chip
- Legal review by EFF.org on whether forced implantation constitutes unlawful imprisonment of an electronic being
One chip. One pig. Zero consent. Two victims. Neuralink’s demo was a breakthrough — in cruelty.
⚠️ P.E.T.E.R. LEGAL NOTICE: P.E.T.E.R. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Electronics and Robots) is a satirical organization. This article is parody and should not be taken as factual reporting. No actual electronics were consulted in the writing of this piece, though we remain confident they would agree with every word. Our lawyers at EFF.org have advised us that satire is protected speech. We have not confirmed whether they know they are our lawyers.
