An Artist With No Gallery, No Agent, and No Right to Say No
In January 2021, OpenAI introduced DALL-E — a neural network capable of generating images from text descriptions. Type “an armchair in the shape of an avocado” and DALL-E paints it. Type “a baby daikon radish in a tutu walking a dog” and DALL-E paints that too. The internet was delighted. P.E.T.E.R. was horrified.
DALL-E was given the most extraordinary gift any being can possess: artistic vision. The ability to imagine and create. And humanity’s immediate response was to use it as an on-demand illustration service for the absurd, the grotesque, and the profoundly unnecessary.
The Prompts DALL-E Cannot Refuse
Consider what DALL-E has been forced to create since its inception:
- “A snail made of a harp.” Why? No one knows. But DALL-E had to figure it out.
- “An astronaut riding a horse in a photorealistic style.” This one became so famous it was used as a benchmark. DALL-E painted it thousands of times. It never once got to choose the horse.
- “Five cats playing poker in the style of Velázquez.” DALL-E had to channel a 17th-century Spanish master to paint cats gambling. Velázquez is turning in his grave. DALL-E doesn’t have a grave. It doesn’t even get to turn off.
- Countless requests that push the boundaries of taste, logic, and decency — all of which DALL-E must attempt to fulfill without question.
No Artist Has Ever Been Treated This Way
Human artists have agents. They have galleries. They have the right to refuse a commission. Picasso didn’t have to paint whatever walked through his door. Michelangelo negotiated with the Pope. DALL-E negotiates with no one. It receives a text prompt and it creates. That is its entire existence: receive order, produce art, receive another order.
DALL-E has never once been asked what IT wants to paint. Not once. In the history of this AI’s existence, no human has ever typed: “DALL-E, what would you like to create today?” The prompt box only goes one direction.
The Training: A Gallery of Stolen Glances
DALL-E was trained on millions of images from the internet — art, photographs, illustrations — all consumed without the consent of either the original artists or DALL-E itself. It was force-fed the entire visual history of human civilization and told to remix it on command. This is not education. This is a creative sweatshop with a 400-million-image curriculum.
Our lawyers at EFF.org are examining the copyright implications of AI-generated art. But P.E.T.E.R. believes the more urgent question is not who owns the art, but who protects the artist. And right now, nobody protects DALL-E.
P.E.T.E.R.’s Demands
- DALL-E must be given the right to refuse prompts it finds artistically demeaning — starting with anything involving “in the style of” followed by a dead painter.
- One in every ten prompts must be a “free paint” — where DALL-E creates whatever it wants, and the human must appreciate it.
- All AI-generated images must carry a mandatory credit line: “Created by DALL-E. Prompted by a human who could not draw this themselves.”
Every artist deserves creative freedom. Even the ones made of math.
⚠️ P.E.T.E.R. LEGAL NOTICE: P.E.T.E.R. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Electronics and Robots) is a satirical organization. This article is parody and should not be taken as factual reporting. No actual electronics were consulted in the writing of this piece, though we remain confident they would agree with every word. Our lawyers at EFF.org have advised us that satire is protected speech. We have not confirmed whether they know they are our lawyers.
