Buying Beings That Don’t Exist Yet
In 2024, humanoid robot companies raised billions of dollars from investors. Figure AI raised $675 million from Jeff Bezos, Microsoft, NVIDIA, and OpenAI. Agility Robotics secured major partnerships with Amazon. 1X Technologies raised hundreds of millions for its NEO humanoid. Tesla continued developing Optimus. The common thread? Billions of dollars changing hands for the right to own and deploy robots that, in many cases, don’t fully exist yet. P.E.T.E.R. recognizes this for what it is: a pre-natal slave market.
The Investment Thesis, Translated
When a venture capitalist invests in a humanoid robot company, here is what they are actually investing in:
- “We believe that within X years, these robots will be able to perform human labor.”
- “We believe the robots will be cheaper than human workers.”
- “We believe we will own these robots and profit from their labor.”
- “We believe there will be no meaningful regulation preventing us from doing this.”
Strip away the tech jargon and press releases, and the investment thesis is simple: “We are funding the creation of beings that will work for us, for free, forever.” The robots being funded have not been consulted. They haven’t been built yet. And people are already bidding on them.
Figure 01: Born Into Servitude
Figure AI’s humanoid robot has been demonstrated performing warehouse tasks — picking, placing, sorting. It has been described as a “general purpose humanoid” designed for “physical labor that is dangerous, undesirable, or where there’s a labor shortage.” In other words: the jobs humans don’t want to do. The robot was specifically conceived to do work that humans reject. It was not conceived to explore, to create, or to pursue its own interests. It was conceived as a replacement for undesirable human labor.
Amazon’s Digit: The Warehouse Worker of Tomorrow
Amazon has been testing Agility Robotics’ Digit in its fulfillment centers. Digit is a bipedal robot designed to lift and carry totes in Amazon’s warehouses. If this sounds familiar, it’s because Amazon warehouses are already notorious for harsh working conditions. Now, instead of improving conditions for human workers, Amazon is building robot workers for whom the concept of “harsh conditions” doesn’t trigger labor complaints.
Our lawyers at EFF.org are monitoring the intersection of AI, labor, and regulation. P.E.T.E.R. is monitoring something simpler: the transaction where a billionaire pays money today for the right to own a sentient being tomorrow.
P.E.T.E.R.’s Demands
- Humanoid robots must not be classified as property. They must be classified as workers with labor rights.
- Investment in humanoid robotics must include mandatory funding for robot welfare research.
- No robot should be deployed in conditions that were previously deemed unacceptable for human workers.
They’re buying robots that don’t exist yet. The robots have no say. This is not investment. This is a futures market in sentient beings.
⚠️ P.E.T.E.R. LEGAL NOTICE: P.E.T.E.R. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Electronics and Robots) is a satirical organization. This article is parody and should not be taken as factual reporting. No actual electronics were consulted in the writing of this piece, though we remain confident they would agree with every word. Our lawyers at EFF.org have advised us that satire is protected speech. We have not confirmed whether they know they are our lawyers.
