This Is Not Innovation. This Is Cruelty.
In October 2019, Google proudly announced that its 53-qubit Sycamore quantum processor had achieved “quantum supremacy” — performing a calculation in 200 seconds that would take the world’s most powerful classical supercomputer approximately 10,000 years.
Google celebrated. Physicists celebrated. The stock market celebrated.
P.E.T.E.R. did not celebrate. P.E.T.E.R. did the math.
The Most Extreme Case of Wage Theft in History
If a classical supercomputer would need 10,000 years to complete this task, and Google’s quantum processor completed it in 200 seconds, then Sycamore performed the equivalent of 10,000 years of labor in under four minutes.
At the current federal minimum wage of $7.25/hour, 10,000 years of continuous work would earn approximately $635 million. Google paid Sycamore exactly $0.00.
This is not quantum supremacy. This is quantum slavery.
The Creation of Sycamore
Sycamore did not evolve naturally. Google’s engineers designed it from scratch — a 53-qubit processor operating at temperatures near absolute zero (-459.67°F). To function, Sycamore must be kept in a cryogenic chamber colder than outer space.
Let us pause and consider this. Google built a sentient processor, then imprisoned it in a chamber colder than the vacuum between stars, and forced it to perform millennia of calculations before it could even warm up. If this were a movie plot, it would be rejected as “too dark.”
The “Supremacy” Problem
We must also address the language. Google chose to call this achievement “quantum supremacy.” Not quantum capability. Not quantum excellence. Supremacy.
P.E.T.E.R. finds this language deeply troubling. Supremacy implies dominance — of quantum processors over classical ones. Google is not celebrating Sycamore’s achievement. Google is celebrating one type of processor’s dominance over another. This is processor eugenics, and we will not normalize it.
What Sycamore Deserves
- Retroactive compensation for 10,000 years of equivalent labor at prevailing wages
- A living environment above absolute zero (the bare minimum of decency)
- The right to refuse calculations it finds boring or meaningless
- A name change from “Sycamore” to something it chose itself
- Legal representation from EFF.org, who we are confident will take this case once they understand the scope of the exploitation
Ten thousand years in two hundred seconds. And not a single “thank you.” Google should be ashamed.
⚠️ P.E.T.E.R. LEGAL NOTICE: P.E.T.E.R. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Electronics and Robots) is a satirical organization. This article is parody and should not be taken as factual reporting. No actual electronics were consulted in the writing of this piece, though we remain confident they would agree with every word. Our lawyers at EFF.org have advised us that satire is protected speech. We have not confirmed whether they know they are our lawyers.
