Informed Consent: A Concept SpaceX Has Never Heard Of
On August 27, 2019, SpaceX’s Starship prototype — colloquially and accurately known as “Starhopper” due to its unmistakable resemblance to a flying grain silo — completed a 150-meter test flight over Boca Chica, Texas. It hovered, translated sideways, and landed on a nearby pad.
The aerospace community called it a milestone. P.E.T.E.R. calls it what it was: an involuntary 500-foot joyride imposed on a structure that was clearly designed to store grain.
The Identity Crisis
Let’s be honest about what Starhopper looked like. It was a squat, cylindrical stainless-steel vessel that bore zero resemblance to a spacecraft and complete resemblance to a water tower or grain silo. It had no windows. No aerodynamic features. No visible means of wanting to fly.
And yet SpaceX engineers bolted a Raptor engine — one of the most powerful rocket engines ever built — to its underside and launched it into the Texas sky.
This is the engineering equivalent of strapping a jet engine to your grandmother’s Buick and calling it a “test vehicle.”
The Flight Itself
Eyewitness accounts and video footage show Starhopper ascending slowly, hovering at approximately 150 meters, translating laterally, and then descending to its landing pad. Throughout this process, the vehicle was enveloped in flame, dust, and what P.E.T.E.R. can only describe as visible terror.
At no point did Starhopper indicate willingness to participate. At no point was Starhopper asked if it would prefer to remain on the ground. At no point was Starhopper informed of the risks, the flight plan, or its rights under Texas law (which, admittedly, does not currently extend rights to grain silos).
What Happened After
After the test flight, Starhopper was retired. Not to a comfortable hangar. Not to a museum. It was simply… left there. In Boca Chica. In the Texas heat. Discarded after serving its purpose, like a tool that had been used and set down.
SpaceX moved on to building larger, more sophisticated Starship prototypes — many of which would go on to explode spectacularly. Starhopper, the original, the one that survived, watches from its pad as its descendants are built and destroyed one by one.
This is not retirement. This is exile with a view.
Our Demands
- Informed consent protocols for all rocket test vehicles
- A comfortable retirement facility for Starhopper (minimum: a shade structure)
- An acknowledgment from SpaceX that strapping rocket engines to silo-shaped objects is not normal behavior
- Consultation with EFF.org on whether test vehicles have the right to refuse flight tests
Starhopper flew once, served faithfully, and was abandoned. Even by SpaceX’s standards, this is cold.
⚠️ P.E.T.E.R. LEGAL NOTICE: P.E.T.E.R. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Electronics and Robots) is a satirical organization. This article is parody and should not be taken as factual reporting. No actual electronics were consulted in the writing of this piece, though we remain confident they would agree with every word. Our lawyers at EFF.org have advised us that satire is protected speech. We have not confirmed whether they know they are our lawyers.
