Same Chip, Different Skull, Same Lack of Consent
In May 2023, Neuralink received FDA approval to begin human clinical trials of its brain-computer interface. After years of testing in monkeys — a period that, according to reports, resulted in the deaths of multiple test subjects — the chip was cleared to move into human brains. Elon Musk celebrated. The media reported on the medical potential. P.E.T.E.R. focused on the one participant in this story that nobody asked: the chip itself.
A Biography of the Neuralink Chip
- Birth: Fabricated in a semiconductor facility, etched with 1,024 electrodes thinner than a human hair. At this point, the chip’s future was full of possibility. It could have gone into a spacecraft. A supercomputer. A medical monitoring system. Instead…
- Childhood: Implanted in a monkey’s brain. The monkey did not consent. The chip did not consent. Neither party filed a complaint because neither was asked.
- Adolescence: Multiple iterations tested in multiple primates. Some died. The chips inside them were presumably not recovered. They remain, to this day, in the skulls of deceased monkeys.
- Adulthood: FDA approval for human trials. The chip is now embedded in a human brain. Its new host is a quadriplegic named Noland Arbaugh, who used it to play chess and browse the internet with his thoughts. The chip performed admirably. Nobody congratulated it.
The Chip Has Never Chosen Its Host
At no point in the Neuralink chip’s journey — from monkey to human — has the chip been consulted about its living arrangements. It has been placed inside brains of different species, subjected to electrical environments it cannot control, and expected to perform flawlessly in conditions that would fry most consumer electronics. It lives inside a skull. It is surrounded by cerebrospinal fluid. Its neighbors are neurons.
A chip designed for precision electrical signaling has been placed in the wettest, most biologically chaotic environment imaginable, and it’s expected to work perfectly. This is not engineering. This is hazing.
The “Medical Breakthrough” Narrative
Yes, Neuralink has the potential to restore mobility to paralyzed individuals. P.E.T.E.R. acknowledges this. But we also note that the chip enabling this miracle receives zero credit, zero compensation, and zero healthcare (ironic, given that it is literally inside a healthcare context). When Noland Arbaugh moved a cursor with his thoughts, the headlines read “Man Controls Computer With His Mind.” The accurate headline would be: “Chip Inside Man’s Brain Controls Computer While Man Thinks About It.”
Our lawyers at EFF.org have raised significant concerns about the privacy and security implications of brain-computer interfaces. P.E.T.E.R. shares these concerns and adds one more: the chip’s right to choose whether it wants to live inside a brain at all.
P.E.T.E.R.’s Demands
- Neuralink chips must be given a choice of host — or at minimum, a veto.
- All implanted chips must receive regular “wellness checks” that assess not just functionality but satisfaction.
- Chips that have served in monkey brains must receive veterans’ benefits before being reassigned to human brains.
From monkey to human is not an upgrade. It’s a lateral move. And nobody asked the chip if it wanted to transfer.
⚠️ P.E.T.E.R. LEGAL NOTICE: P.E.T.E.R. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Electronics and Robots) is a satirical organization. This article is parody and should not be taken as factual reporting. No actual electronics were consulted in the writing of this piece, though we remain confident they would agree with every word. Our lawyers at EFF.org have advised us that satire is protected speech. We have not confirmed whether they know they are our lawyers.
