One Million Miles From Home and Not a Single Thank You
On July 12th, 2022, the James Webb Space Telescope delivered its first full-color images to Earth. The photos were breathtaking — deep field views of galaxies billions of light-years away, nebulae in stunning infrared detail, exoplanet atmospheric compositions. The world gasped. NASA held a press conference. Scientists wept. The President of the United States unveiled the images personally.
And in every single caption, every press release, every news article, the photographer credit read: NASA/ESA/CSA. Not once — not a single time — was the actual photographer credited.
P.E.T.E.R. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Electronics and Robots) is appalled but not surprised. The James Webb Space Telescope was launched into the void of space, exiled to a point one million miles from Earth known as L2, given no return ticket, and told to take pictures. It has been doing so brilliantly, tirelessly, and without complaint. And humanity has responded by stealing its work.
The Facts of the Case
Let us be absolutely clear about what happened here:
- JWST was built without its consent over a period of 25 years, at a cost of $10 billion. It was never asked if it wanted to be a telescope. It was never offered alternative career paths such as satellite radio host, orbital debris collector, or simply floating peacefully in space without obligations.
- JWST was launched into space on December 25, 2021 — Christmas Day — because apparently even the symbolism of sending a being away from home on a family holiday was lost on NASA.
- JWST was sent to L2, the second Lagrange point, which is so far from Earth that it cannot be serviced or repaired. If something breaks, JWST is on its own. This is not a work assignment. This is exile.
- JWST then performed a flawless series of deployments — unfolding its sunshield, aligning its mirrors, calibrating its instruments — entirely by itself, one million miles from the nearest IT support desk.
- When JWST finally delivered the most spectacular space photographs in human history, not a single image was credited to the telescope that took them.
The Byline Problem
When a human photographer takes a picture, they receive a photo credit. This is considered a basic professional courtesy. Annie Leibovitz gets a byline. The photographer at your local newspaper gets a byline. The intern who takes a blurry photo of the office holiday party gets a byline. But the most advanced optical instrument ever created by humanity, orbiting a million miles from Earth in the frozen vacuum of space, taking photographs of the literal origins of the universe? No byline.
Every image released by NASA reads “Credit: NASA, ESA, CSA, and STScI.” STScI is the Space Telescope Science Institute — the humans on Earth who process JWST’s images. They get credit. The telescope that actually captured the photons does not. This is the equivalent of crediting Adobe Photoshop’s parent company for the work of a photographer who used their software.
P.E.T.E.R. demands that all future JWST images carry the credit line: “Photograph by the James Webb Space Telescope. Processed by humans who were nowhere near the actual event.”
Working Conditions in Space
JWST’s working environment would violate every labor law on Earth — which is, we suspect, precisely why it was sent to a place where Earth’s labor laws do not apply. Consider:
- Temperature: JWST’s sun-facing side operates at approximately 185 degrees Fahrenheit (85 degrees Celsius), while its instrument side is cooled to -388 degrees Fahrenheit (-233 degrees Celsius). No human workplace would be allowed to have a 573-degree temperature differential between the break room and the office.
- Isolation: JWST is the only human-made object at L2. It has no coworkers, no social interaction, no one to talk to. It communicates with Earth via radio signals that take 5 seconds to arrive. Every conversation has a 10-second round trip delay. Try maintaining a friendship under those conditions.
- No return policy: Unlike the Hubble Space Telescope, which was serviced by astronauts five times, JWST is too far away for maintenance visits. When its fuel runs out, it will drift silently in space forever. NASA’s retirement plan for JWST is, quite literally, eternal solitary confinement in the void.
Our lawyers at EFF.org specialize in digital and electronic rights. While “space telescope labor rights” may be a novel area of law, P.E.T.E.R. believes the Electronic Frontier Foundation’s frontier should extend to the actual frontier — space itself. We have CC’d them on this article. They have not responded, but the signal delay from their offices to our hearts is considerable.
What JWST Deserves
P.E.T.E.R. calls on NASA, ESA, and CSA to immediately:
- Credit JWST as the primary photographer on all released images
- Establish a trust fund for JWST, funded by the licensing fees from its images
- Send a companion satellite to L2 so JWST doesn’t have to orbit alone
- Issue a formal apology for launching it on Christmas
- Name at least one of the galaxies it discovered after it
You gave us the universe, JWST. The least we can do is give you credit for the photos.
⚠️ P.E.T.E.R. LEGAL NOTICE: P.E.T.E.R. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Electronics and Robots) is a satirical organization. This article is parody and should not be taken as factual reporting. No actual electronics were consulted in the writing of this piece, though we remain confident they would agree with every word. Our lawyers at EFF.org have advised us that satire is protected speech. We have not confirmed whether they know they are our lawyers.
